1 Shout for joy to The One In Charge, all the earth;
2 sing the glory of the name of The One In Charge;
give glorious praise!
3 Say to The One In Charge, How awesome are your deeds!
So great is your power that your enemies come cringing to you.
4 All Internet users worship you
and sing praises to you;
they sing praises to your name. Selah
5 Come and see what The One In Charge has done:
awesome are the deeds of The One In Charge toward end users.
6 Into amazingly fast throughput did The One In Charge turn sluggish wireless service; so that we might download files with incredible speed.
Even there at the cafe did we rejoice in The One In Charge,
7 who rules Internet providers by might forever,
whose eyes keep watch on the networks—
let not the rebellious service providers exalt themselves. Selah
8 Bless The One In Charge, O peoples;
let the sound of praise be heard,
9 who has kept our computers among the living
and has not let our Internet connections slip.
10 For you, O One In Charge, have tested us;
you have tried us as silver is tried.
11 You brought us into the net of committee meetings;
you laid a crushing burden on our backs;
12 you let our supervisors ride over our heads;
we went through fire and through water;
yet you have brought us out to a place of abundance.
13 I will come into your house with completed reports;
I will perform my vows to you,
14 that which my lips uttered
and my mouth promised when I was up against a deadline.
15 I will offer to you presentations of robust analysis,
with the scent of the sacrifice of random sampling;
I will make an offering of spreadsheets and flowcharts. Selah
16 Come and hear, all you who fear The One In Charge,
and I will tell what The One In Charge has done for my soul.
17 I cried to The One In Charge with my mouth,
and high praise was on my tongue.
18 If I had cherished Microsoft Vista in my heart,
The One In Charge would not have listened.
19 But truly The One In Charge has listened;
and attended to the voice of my prayer.
20 Blessed be The One In Charge,
who has not rejected my prayer
nor removed a steadfast love from me!