7.5 The Beatitudes  (Matthew 5:1-12)

When Linus Torvalds saw the crowds, he went up to Silicon Valley, and after he sat down, his programmers came to him. Then he began to speak, and taught them saying:

Blessed are the poor in RAM, for theirs is the kingdom of lightweight distros.

Blessed are those who mourn for their corrupted files, for they will be comforted.

Blessed are the geeks, for they will inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for alternatives to expensive software, for they will be filled with open source alternatives.

Blessed are the merciful, for their online database session times shall be extended.

Blessed are those whose websites are pure, for they will see W3C approval.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of those who resolve flame wars.

Blessed are those who are persecuted for their righteous texting abilities, for theirs is the kingdom of free smartphones.

Blessed are you when people revile you for sending .gar and .tz files, and utter all kinds of trash talk against you falsely because you’re running Linux.

Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in system stability, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

An Essential Readme Text from The Document as found in The Book of Uncommon Prayer, p. 173